Dear Social Media.

I’ve known you for a while and I can say that I can’t stand you. Hate feels like too strong of a word and anyway, if I truly hated you then why do I spend so much time with you?

I guess you’re something I love to hate.

I don’t know what it is about you, maybe it’s the way you keep me entertained, maybe it’s the way you show me adventures and beautiful places I would have never imagined existed. Maybe its the funny cat videos and the cute puppies that bring a smile to my face. Maybe it’s the dopamine rush I get from people liking a picture of mine.

No matter what it is, I can’t seem to put you down.

You make me feel connected, yet I’ve never been so lonely. I can’t remember the last time I spoke to some of the people on my news feed. I don’t send them a text, I won’t meet them for coffee, why should I? I only have to scroll and I know everything they’ve done for the past year. But hours of scrolling makes me seem dull, friends I once knew pose for a photo and my loneliness only grows. I have a fear of missing out because of you.

You make me feel bad about myself, I’m not thin enough, pretty enough, popular enough. I’ll never be enough. My life isn’t Instagram worthy, no ones is. Life is messy and beautiful, too valuable to live through pixels and screen.

You were designed to keep us hooked, your foundations are instant gratification that will leave a nasty taste. I spent too long with you and all you do in return is eat away my time.

Social Media you are a parasite.

Enough is enough, the time has come for boundaries to be made and kept. I don’t think it’s possible to leave you completely, but if I could I would. For now though we need a break. My worth can no longer come from likes and retweets, comments and heart emojis. Hours can not be stolen by you any more, I have a future to create.

This isn’t goodbye, more see you soon.

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The New Year is full of people making resolutions, it’s not something I personally take part in. I’m more for trying to implement changes straight away instead of waiting till the next calendar milestone. But over the past few weeks as I’ve been having a break from my uni work I’ve been thinking about how I spend my time and where I want my life to be going. Through this time I’ve came to the conclusion that I need to be a whole lot more responsible with how I spend my time.

For 2020 I want to reduce my time on social media.

My iPhone has this cool feature called screen time. It allows you to see how long you’re spending on your phone, I had a look at mine the other day and I was quite horrified as to how long I was spending on it. I’ve had several moans to people this year that there just hasn’t been enough time for me to read, I haven’t even scratched the surface on my to read pile. But after looking at how much time I spend on my phone I’m not surprised!

There’s so many thing I want to achieve in 2020, I’d like to get my first draft done of my short story, I want my poetry collection to be completed. Book reviews are high up on the list too. All of this requires me to be spending my time wisely, something I’m just not doing at the moment.

What I’m going to change in 2020

• One day a week with no social media
• Permanently delete Instagram off my phone
• Use screen time on my phone to limit the time I spend on the apps each day.

Things I want to do more of in 2020

• Read – The aim for this year is to read 15 books
• Write more – Have designated time in the day to work on my story and poetry
• Plan ahead – Use my time more efficiently, to help me achieve my personal and professional goals.
• Rest responsibility – I’m yet to really get this whole rest thing. In my eyes if I’m not being productive then I’m being a lazy disappointment. This year I want to be able to crack resting, to have a better relationship with myself and take responsibility for how I spend my down time.

I guess you could call this a new years resolution, I’m hoping it goes a tad further than that and becomes a lifestyle change. Since starting university I’ve realized more so than ever that I’m really going to have to work my butt off to make it as a writer. I’m wanting to go into a very saturated, competitive field and that’s going to require a whole lot of work.

It’s going to be hard but I’m hoping I can make the most of this year and wake up every day with a grateful heart and the desire to learn more.