Small talk

For those who have been following me on twitter, you will know that I’ve been binge watching Ted Talks these past few days.

There’s something about these talks that I love, they have such an amazing variety of stuff, some make you belly laugh, others leave you on the verge of tears but what they all have in common is that they make you think. I really love watching them.

I was watching one about small talk what you can check out here .

The purpose of this talk was about skipping the small talk and forming deep meaningful connections with people, something that I struggle with.

In honesty, I can’t stand small talk. I want to go for the deep stuff. I’m not to bothered what you had for dinner last night or what item of furniture your cat just broke (but if you have a video of said cat doing something stupid, then you’ve got my attention). I want to know you and that includes you guys, my small happy army of readers (You’re all awesome!!).

I want to know you.

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So after watching this talk it was time for class, and by class I mean sit in a room with only half the class present as the supply tutor plays on the computer. Two of the guys were on the windowsill, myself and my friend were on our phones and one of the other guys was on the computers. As no one was talking I decided to ask the question that was discussed in the Ted Talk.

“What do you want to do before you die?”

One of them looked very taken back by the suddenness of the question, but hey it’s me, they should be used to it by now.

This sparked off a really nice conversation, one guy wanted to go skydiving before he died and others simply didn’t know. We even managed to ask the supply tutor what he though and he wanted to meet people from different cultures, an answer none of us was expecting.

It was quite amazing how much I found out about my classmates by just asking one question. I learned that the quietest guy in the class was so family orientated it was unreal, that if he was to die tomorrow he said he’d go to Burger King then spend the night with his family.

Another said that he’d buy a plane ticket and travel the world.

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This got me thinking though.

What would happen if we just skip the small talk and just spoke?

I love talking to people about God but it’s such a big topic to approach with anyone, I even struggle talking to other Christians about it. But how amazing would it be if I just asked? How much more could I grow if I just let go of my fears and ask the big questions.

So I’m going to leave you with a question today.

What would you do if you knew that you were going to die tomorrow? 

 

 

Coffee Shops & Counseling

Hi guys!

I’m feeling a bit chatty today so I’m giving you fair warming now that this is going to be a really informal post *throws glitter in the air from excess caffeine and energy*.

So I’m currently at college and a bit bored out of my mind. Both of my tutors are currently away so we have a supply tutor in and bless him, he hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing with such a strong-willed class like mine. To save myself from power struggles I’m hiding out in the library.

This morning I was at counseling. I’ve been having counseling for just under a year now (whats a pretty long time :/ ) but I changed councilors not too long ago ( let’s name them S) and today was my second session with S and I can say it’s going really well. I always thought that all councillors were the same but my councilor  has shown me otherwise. It turns out each councilors has their own unique style of approaching things. This does not mean that one is better than another,it simply means that some people will be better suited with a different counclor.

One thing that S does that I love is that she gives me homework what I know sounds stupid but they give me goals and tasks to challenge myself with throughout the week, so I can discuss them with S in our next session in a safe and honest environment. For me this something that I really need as I am the type of person who does need to be held accountable to things as I am a self-proclaimed expert and finding loopholes in situations.

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I have my sessions first thing in the morning. I’m not going to go into detail what I discuss in my sessions as I think that’s something a little bit to personal to be posting all over the internet but I can say that it’s very beneficial and I now look forward with my next session with S.

I’m not addicted to caffeine just yet, I can’t stand the taste of coffee but it’s something that I wish I liked. There’s something so calming, for me, about being in a coffee shop. So on a morning after my session I make my way to one of my favorite coffee shops, Liar Liar (I mentioned it briefly in my last post that you can find here) I always try to give myself some sort of head space after my sessions, I think that it’s important to fully process what you’ve discussed during counseling or therapy before carrying on with your day. So today I st down with a hole lot of information about CBT and just let myself think.

I didn’t have any profound moments or come to any life changing conclusions in my musing but it was nice just to have head space. I spoke briefly in my past post about how important it was just to have some time out and this morning really made me realise that. My time out usually consists of hiding in coffee shops (what can get expensive over time) but what works for you? I’m really interested in what you do for your time out.

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That’s my caffeine fulled ramble over and if you have gotten this far well done, like I said, this has been a very informal chatty post today but I think that I need that on my blog.

I read so often about how to write posts to get the most view and how to get the most followers possible that I forget the whole point of my blog. I’m not creating posts to make money or gain followers, I just want to chat to you all. I’m a young adult who is another faceless girl in a sea of people who just wants to talk. I want to help and inspire people and I’m not going to do that if my blog is like all the others. To truly inspire people it has to come from my own vulnerability and quirks and that’s what my blog is. I’m not going to help anyone by conforming to a mould.

When being lost in a story provides more comfort than real life,

you’ll find me here.

All the best guys, hope your day is epic and full of glitter!

Lessons learned during my time at college

 

At 18 most of my friends are off to University. They’ve done the mandatory two years of education after secondary school and are starting a new chapter of their life. For me though, this wasn’t the case. After studying BTEC Applied science/ forensic science for two years and leaving the course with an Extended Diploma at D*D*D*, I was more than capable of heading off to Uni. However, I decided against this and stayed on at my college.  Now on my third year of college I am studying business.

As I have a free between my lessons and assignments starting to flow in, I thought it best to procrastinate and share with you all some of my best lessons and must haves for college, because procrastinating is fun!

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STATIONARY

It’s a well-known fact that I have a slight obsession with stationary and notebooks. I love them!

Something that I can almost guarantee is that there will be two types of people in your class.

One type will have the bare minimum of stationary, they will have a simple refill pack of lined paper and might spend most the time scrounging a pen to use of someone. This is fine if this suits your learning style, some people don’t need a mass of colored pens, rubbers, and notebooks to get through their time at college and that’s cool. You learn in what ever method suits you. The second type though, is the category  I live in. We love stationary. Our favorite thing about education is going stationary shopping and we will probably get too much (though I personally think you can never have enough stationary!).

For me colored pens, a bullet journal and a good notebook are essentials. I would recommend a laptop for ease when researching things, but you don’t need one as your college will have a library with computers that you can use, so don’t worry about that.

My favorite thing in my pencil-case are my Staedtler ball 432 pens. They write in medium size and come in a range of colors, I have ten of them. The pens are a nice shape and write well, not to mention that the color shows on the paper great. If you look around, you can also get them quite cheap. Stores like Wilkos sell them for a whole lot less than some of your more well know stationery stores, what I think is fantastic!

Another thing I can’t live without is my bullet journal. My first bullet journal was a Moleskin but I recently made a switch as every academic year I start a new one. My current journal is a turquoise Leuchtturm1917 (you can see it on the photo above). It is fantastic. I’ve always been a bit of a Moleskine’s girls, as that’s my preferred book for my diary, but I tried the Leuchtturm and I can say that I’m never going back.

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TIME OUT

Unlike school, college gives you some freedom. But this also means you can have a lot of time on your hands.

At the start of the year chances are you’ll be a bit board, you won’t have that many assignments so you spend a lot of your frees doing very little. The only thing I can say to that is ENJOY IT WHILST IT LASTS! As the year progresses you’ll find yourself with a whole lot of work to do and not a lot of time to be doing it. Suddenly all that free time you had at the start of the year has gone and you don’t quite know where either.

One of my biggest mistakes was not recognising when I was becoming stressed. I allowed myself very little time off in these last two years, I was doing my course at college, doing my leadership qualification with guides at the same time as leading, I was working on Saturdays, using my day off to catch up with people and spending lots of time writing on my old blog. I left very little time for me. Soon stress started to pile up and I just got worse.

Take it from me, time out is so important.

Time out can be what ever you want. Last year my art journal and writing poetry was my time out, this year I’m learing to play the viola and practising at home is my time out, I enjoy it and it calms me down when I’m stressed.

So make some room for some you time.

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Liar Liar – Oswestry

A GOOD COFFEE SHOP

I’m often asked why I have a Saturday job. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t have obvious spending habits and I don’t pay bills. For most it’s confusing why I would work when I don’t really need the money. However, I have one main area that I need my job to fund.

Coffee shops.

I love them, I find them relaxing and a really comfortable environment to work in. There’s nothing more I enjoy than siting at a table with my laptop with a good hot chocolate. Lair Liar and Booka are my two favorites where I live. Both have unique atmosphere that are polar opposites of the other but I love them both the same.

So why would I recommend coffee shops?

I often find my college very loud and overwhelming. As the year progresses the library, where I usually hide, gets louder and louder as panicked students descend on it. For someone who doesn’t like loud, a coffee shop is the best place for me. The pair I like are both relatively quite, the one doesn’t have wifi so I can get on with my assignments with no distractions from social media and the other is so quirky and play lovely music in the background that is calming. They also feel very safe, I go quite regularly so the staff are friendly and I can really alow myself to relax and just get my work done.

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TIME WITH GOD

I save this one for last but this is the most important of them all.

My college doesn’t have a Christian union or anything and the church that I attend is very small and has very few youths. So I don’t have that many people around me my age to walk with me in my relationship with God.

College also presents some issues that you might not particularly face at school. There’s new temptations with the freedom that college offers and new challenges that will test your faith. Not to mention that college is hard. Your identity will be challenged during your time there, you might have a new group of friends and class mates that belive in totally different things than you do, they might act in a manor that doesn’t reflect God at all. You’re going to come up against challenges but that’s not a bad thing. How can you expect your faith to grow if it’s not challenged and stretched?

Spending time with God might not be the easiest thing to do during your time at college, it wasn’t for me, but it’s important. You might come home and crash with only the derire to sleep, you might make lots of plans to meet up with your friends after college, do lots of extra curiculum activites or you might just be exhauseted. All of these things are perfectly valid reasons why you might not read your bible and pray but it’s still worth trying to get into some sort of routine where you have time to spend with God. No time with God is ever wasted.

Something simple that helped me was listing to worship music. Unlike school you can have your headphones in if your tutor is ok with it. Sometimes on my darker days I’d just put on worship music and get on with my work. It didn’t take away the pain of what was happening or the feelings, but it shifted my attention from the problem to the problem solver. 

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