So I brought a walking stick…
Not going to lie, shopping for a walking stick at 20 years old was a surreal experience. It was not something I ever expected to need and it was something I most certainly didn’t want. But here we are, I’m now the owner of a sparkly purple walking stick.
Long story short, for those who are new, I have chronic pain in my feet and through that I’ve now got dodgy knees and hips. For the past year and a bit I’ve been in some degree of pain every day what often causes me issues with walking or standing. Some days I’m fine and I can walk around normally without help as whilst I’m in pain it’s manageable (though these days are now few and far between). However, other days I’m in so much pain I can hardly walk let alone stand, for example today it took me an hour and a half to get out of bed. I have a cabin bed with a ladder and I was in too much pain to go down four steps… it kinda sucked.
In a bid to have some level of independence back and to allow me to be as normal as possible I eventually started to use crutches to help me get about. I started off with only using one but eventually moved on to two for more support. Using crutches comes with it’s own set of problems, my main one being that I was off to university soon and needed to be walking with less support so I could have a more normal uni experience. I thought they would create a barrier whilst I was there. I’ve also been getting stronger walking unaided for short periods of time, so I found that on better pain days the crutch (I’d only be using one) would cause more issues than help. It’s big and clunky and if I’m not in massive amounts of pain and not using it properly, it does more damage to my feet than good. So at the start of this week I made the decision to get a folding walking stick, one that I could keep in my bag at all times. It allows me to walk without aid for as long as I can manage, building up strength, but have the security of having an aid when the pain gets too much.
It’s taken me a long time to accept that I need mobility aids now, but I think I’m pretty much come to terms with it, and now that I do feel comfortable talking about it I can write about a topic that’s been bugging me since day one of my crutches – The stigma of using mobility aids as a young person.
Continue reading “The stigma of using mobility aids as a young person.”
A pretty cool date slipped under the radar yesterday, it was this blogs second birthday. It’s been two whole years since I published my very first post ‘Breaking it down’
I did start writing a post to reflect on two years of blogging however, if you’ve been keeping up to date with my posts then you’ll know that I’ve been letting myself relax more with my blog for my own health. I used to keep to a weekly schedule with my posts but as my physical and me natal health took a turn for the worst, I made the decision to relax my grip on myself regarding my blog and only post when I feel up to it (hopefully by doing this you guys will also benefit from better content to). So yes, there’s a partial post in my drafts pile reflecting on two years of blogging, but I was in no shape to finish it… sorry.
Today however, I’m feeling a bit more up to writing so I’m thinking I want to draw on some of the points from reflecting on my blog’s second birthday and some more recent events and do a bit of a Q&A. Continue reading “Being vulnerable online and remembering the start”
There’s a post sitting in my drafts pile, all the content is there, I wrote it by hand in my diary and typed it into a post for you guys. However, I’m slowly becoming more conflicted about publishing it. I’m not entirely sure why this is the case, but I think it has something to do with the past week and a bit. I’ve been deeply inspired by other bloggers who talk so openly about their mental health and how through them being vulnerable, they’ve aided and helped their readers. Their words and stories have challenged me to share some of my own battles and thoughts. Sure, I’ve talked about my own struggles with an eating disorder on here, but nothing like the scale that some of peoples share. All of this has left me staring at this page unable to continue, too conflicted and confused to really do much else.
So, I’m putting it to rest for a bit and moving on to this one, I’m going to change my tune and instead of looking at myself I’m going to spend a while contemplating all the things I’m grateful for. Continue reading “Things I’m grateful for – pt3”
Today I’m excited to bring to you the third installment of my Challenging Perfect mini series that’s been developing over the past few years.
I opened my laptop this afternoon with no idea what to write. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling tired when it comes to my blog. As I’ve made more blogging connections on social media I’ve started to compare myself more to them. I see these incredible posts they write, how inspiring and helpful they are and can’t help but feel mine are a bit rubbish (got to love crippling low self confidence). After staring at a blank page for too long I closed my laptop in a bit of a huff and went to go take my minds off things.
My go to lately has been my sketchbook. I’m currently on my second Sketchbook what is an A4 landscape Art Gecko sketchbook. I did art at GCSE level and whilst I enjoyed it, I wasn’t particularly good in the sense that I was never able to develop my own style so everything I produced was a bit bland and forced. However, I’ve always wanted to draw and set myself the challenge to be able to draw before I got to university. I had an empty sketchbook from my school days and less than 3 month later I had filled it cover to cover.
So this afternoon I picked up my sketchbook, threw on some music and just played around for a bit. I ended up with some practice of creating patterns with my markers, a alrightish drawing of a girl and a cat with a bow tie.
Once done I sat back and just enjoyed flicking through the pages of my work, I even pulled out my first sketchbook and allowed myself to be proud with how far I’ve come with my drawings. Seeing as I’m a creature who struggles to stay on a solid train of thought for more than a few minuets, my mind quickly wondered to the past few months I’ve spent making as I put it ‘bad art’.
I concluded that I’d been feeling a lot more relaxed in myself and was coping a lot better when I made mistakes say at work. Sure I feel bad when I don’t do things perfectly, but I found I was no longer beating myself up for getting things wrong, instead I was taking responsibility for them and using it as a lesson to better myself and not make the mistake again. It took a bit of brain power to chase down why I was feeling this way, I’m no longer seeing a councilor and I’m off all medication, so why the change?
Turns out my sketchbook has a lot to answer for. Continue reading “Make bad art – how drawing is helping me overcome perfectionism”
Hello all, long time so no see.
I’ve been looking forward to when I could get back to blogging and chatting to you all. Since coming back off my holiday things have been a bit intense and finding the time and energy to write has proved harder than expected. However, I’m effectively unable to stand today, let alone walk, because of my feet so I’m trying to make the most of it by sitting down at my desk and writing. I’m a tad unsure what to talk about but I’m confident we’ll come up with something. I have my favorite film, Cirque Du Soleil worlds away, playing on my other monitor and a cup of coffee to my right so I’m going to get very sidetracked while writing today.
Seeing as I’ve been away for a few weeks I’m thinking today could be more of a catch-up post. I’m classing it as one of my coffee shop chats even though I’m not physically in a coffee shop right now but I’m sure you can forgive me for that. Continue reading “Who’s up for a catch up?”
Mixing things up a little today, I’m taking a detour from my usual mental health based chatter and going on a different ramble. I’ve not too long got home, I spent the morning with my brother and had a rather nice time. I’m not sure how most sibling relationships go, but ours is that we don’t really have a lot to do with each other at home. He has 2 jobs and I work on the weekends when he’s free. The time we spend in the same house is rather sparse, so to make up for it we occasionally go out together, just us pair and catch up. It’s truly meaningful time I have with my brother and I cherish it. Our car journey chats are always rich and just so lovely.
We ended up heading out to get breakfast at Rhug Estate, a place that’s quite unique seeing as it’s in Whales and sells bison burgers. The meat isn’t even imported, they have their own heard of bison in the field!
Continue reading “What you care about”