A book that shaped my recovery- Keys to FREEDOM

In August I went to an event called New Wine.

It was an amazing week of God moving and worship.

There was one thing I never touched on in any of my posts about that week, and that was the bookshop!

For those of you who read my post of my favorites of 2017, you will already know that I adore books. If you haven’t read it and you’re a book lover, check it out. You might find something that you enjoy. Continue reading “A book that shaped my recovery- Keys to FREEDOM”

Without struggles, am I a real role model?

For almost two years now I have been helping at my local Girl Guide unit.

During these two years I have been working towards the leadership qualification (LQ). It’s been such a challenging but rewarding process that I would encourage all women to consider.

I have learned so much during my time there and I know the girls will only teach me more and more. Continue reading “Without struggles, am I a real role model?”

Favorites of 2017

I’m a bit of a book nerd.

I love to read, there’s something quite magical about losing yourself to a book. So to celebrate the end of a crazy 2017 and my love for books, I’m going to share with you my best reads of 2017.

There’s no particular order, I wanted to originally do my top five books but when it came to chosing them I just could decide out of two of them. So, here are my top 6 books of the year. Continue reading “Favorites of 2017”

What am I doing?

What on earth am I doing?

This is a question I ask myself an awful lot and truth be told that’s probably not a good thing, I say laughing nervously.

It’s been a whole 6 months since Lost In The Story has been my chosen corner of the internet to have a good old ramble. Some of you guys have been following my blog for half a year! How cool is that? You guys are totally amazing! Continue reading “What am I doing?”

High walls, tall falls

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from Pinterest

Having divorced parents meant there was a lack of a male figure in my house. I saw my dad yes, but it’s never quite the same as having your dad there 24/7. So my mum did the best she could with an unsupportive partner and my dad not living near by.

For this reason I grew up with the mentality of not waiting for a man to do it. That I shouldn’t rely on people and be a damsel in distress because no one was coming to save you, you have to save yourself.

The more I grew up, I didn’t want to be the pretty pink princess who sat in her castle, no, I wanted to be the princess with her hair in a braid, leather armor (I know, not very good in a fight but I was like 10) and a sword, not to mention magical powers, but mainly I wanted a sword.

I wanted to be a warrior. Continue reading “High walls, tall falls”

Good week, bad day. 

It’s been a whilse since my last post hasn’t it?

Turth be told I haven’t really known what to talk to you all about, it’s been a very challenging month. Despite a lot happening, I just didn’t feel able to round it up with a possitive pink bow for you all.

It’s really been hard.

I had a panic attack again today, thank fully not a big one but enough to leave me in a mess. 

I don’t usually come into college on Thursdays but today I had to. We’re selling at the town market tommow as part of the business course and I’m selling hand made candles. So I was up at my usual 6:20 and off to that dreaded place.

One of my main issuesis that I can’t handle a change of routine. So when my tutor says I’m done and go home, hours earlier than I had planned,my brain kicked into overdrive.

It sounds so silly right, a little change could freak me out that much?

I guess it was a combination of a routine change, being in a new class room, not having acess to my lunch card and being told I could leave earliy that caused me to get into a tizz. Infact this tizz was so bag that I couldn’t leave the class room.

I was too scared to leave the room.

I’m not sure what I was scared off but I ended up sitting at a table for an extra hour unable to leave. When I finall got to the place of stepping out the room I had to dash to the toilets as a full panic had taken a hold. After a calm down I tried to take controll and make my way home and to my bus stop, but I didn’t get too far.

I’ll spare you the details of what happened next, but I found myself sitting in the park. It’s usually full of dog walkers but today it was empty, giving me the chance to break down and cry. What I didn’t realise was that a medical contidition I have that effects my circulation had taken a hold and impacted my hands whilst my head was a mess and I was in a surprisingly large amount of pain. 

So that sucked.

I’m sitting in a warm cafe at the moment, that I deem my ‘safe place’ in town where I run to when something has gone wrong and now talking to you guys. I’ve just warmed my hands up and got them back to normal where I can type.

Aside from the increasing panic attacks and having them two Thursdays running, these few weeks have had some amazing moments. I’ve eaten for 9 days running what’s a new record. I even got to speak to a room of about 35 Chirstitans about my testamony on Tuesday, what I loved. The situation at home might not be imporving but a family member who I was concered about has finally started to seek help and see someone what is a big step in the right direction.

These few weeks haven’t been terrible. But right now all I want to do is focus on how bad today was and cling to the feeling of failure. 

Instead, I’m challenging myself to try and hold into the positives, sure today was horrible, but that doesn’t change all the good things that have happened. 

So yes, today was bad but I’m refusing to let that spoil my smile too much.