Anyone else feel like they’re missing something?

How are we all doing today?

The rain has finally taken a break where I live and the sun is shining through my bed room window as I write. As the grey dampness that is England lifted my mood has perked up a bit what is wonderful.

Today’s post is going to have more of a colloquial chatty style, I don’t have anything structured or planned, I’m simply just going to be sitting at my laptop and talking to you all. I feel it’s been too long since I’ve done a post like this and I find them really beneficial as the writer, it’s like a more punctuated, better spelled brain dump.

I’ve got my favorite song playing in the background (The Woods by Hollow Coves, just incase you were wondering) a lemon tea in my green fish mug and a packet of Quavers next to me. I feel like I’m in a YA novel, recreating the moment when the protagonist is about to make some life changing decision or action (I wish). Continue reading “Anyone else feel like they’re missing something?”

A book that shaped my recovery pt2 – Bloom

In April I brought this incredible book called Bloom, I was so excited when it arrived at my house and like all good blogger, I posted about it on social media with the promise of when I was done with it I’d write a review.

The journal is meant to be three months long, what puts this review well over due but there is a reason for that (what I’ll get into later).

The author of this book is a lovely young woman called Caralyn who has a blog called Beauty Beyond Bones. I feel like I don’t have to write much of an introduction about her blog because I have a hunch so many of you will already know about her and are possible already following it.

My own blog here is based on very similar things, I share my faith and how God has helped me overcome anorexia in my own life. So if you’re following me and like what I write, I’d really recommend you check out Caralyn’s blog if you’re not doing so already (I’ll link it at the end of the post).

So what is Bloom?

Bloom is an interactive journal wrote to help those suffering with anorexia. It’s based off scripture, the authors own experiences during her time as an impatient getting treatment for anorexia and her current day reflections as a young woman living a fully free and recovered life. Continue reading “A book that shaped my recovery pt2 – Bloom”

Life after anorexia, two months on

Hey guys, long time no see huh?

I’ve been MIA for a bit, I feel as if I left you all on a bit of a cliff hanger. There I was taking about finally being free of anorexia and then I disappeared for almost two months my longest break from blogging ever.

Well I’m feeling a little more up to blogging now, it’s been a surprisingly odd two months but I’ll fill you in on that in a bit.

Bur first things first I’d like to get start this off on a really cool note, I’ve been recovered from anorexia for just over two months now! I can say that finally hit home of how big a deal my healing of anorexia was. I ended up chatting briefly to an acquaintance of mine who used to suffer themselves from an eating disorder and just listening to how they spoke about themselves even after being recovered really made me realise how incredible my own healing was. It’s really humbling that God was gracious enough to heal me from my own eating disorder. If you haven’t already I’d ask that you checked out my last post that explained how all of that came about Let’s talk about faith.

Continue reading “Life after anorexia, two months on”

Lets talk about Faith.

Fun fact, when I started blogging I was originally going to go under a different name. I knew how personal my blog would become and felt too intimidated by people in my life knowing what I wrote about (like seriously, very few people knew I suffered from anorexia and I had every intention to keep it hidden). Instead of going by my first name, I was going to go by my middle name, Faith.

Of course here we are a year later and I’m not Faith. Truth be told I thought it was a bit cheesy if I was going to be sharing my faith in God and went by the name Faith as well. So I stuck with my own name and hoped that people who knew me wouldn’t stumble across my blog. I wasn’t ashamed of my faith (I’d happily talk to anyone about it) but I was ashamed of the eating disorder I also spoke about.

For those of you who don’t know I’ve suffered with anorexia for 2 years now, but despite blogging about it regularly, I don’t think I’ve ever told the full story. However, today I’m going to change that.

The other week I was back at New Wine United and serving on team again. It was an incredible week, I met some great people, had so much fun, got to help young people and see all the great things that God was doing that week. During that week something quite incredible happened to me. I didn’t blog about it straight away when I got home as I was still trying to process what had happened myself and I wanted to make sure it was real and just didn’t happen in the hype of the moment. But it’s been over a week since it happened nor has it stopped when I got home, so now feels like a good time to share it with you all. Continue reading “Lets talk about Faith.”

What real recovery looks like

“I haven’t felt free in a long time. I’m either trapped by anorexia or hindered by anxiety. I want to be FREE.”

“I’m literally at the cusp of recovery. I’m not in need of mans help at the moment, but God’s. I need to rely on him now, I needed to a long time ago. I CAN AND WILL LIVE A LIFE FREE OF THIS!!”

“I’ve never felt my heart cry out like this before. No matter how many counseling session I attend, how many books I read, coping strategies I use, I have never felt this before. I want to do more than cry because to cry doesn’t touch deep enough. I think I want to mourn, I want to let myself feel the pain I’ve kept behind bursting doors. Only Jesus knows what I’m feeling, I can’t trust this expression of pain to anyone else but him. He’s the only one who can feel it too.”

Above are three journal entries I’ve written within the last month.

Possibly for the first time in my life I’m understanding how hard it is to follow God every step of the way.

It’s really hard to follow God, there I said it.

To follow God through recovery is so hard. To hold Jesus’ hand is hard because he’s asking so much of me and yet nothing at all. I once read a quote that said God loves us just as we are, but too much to leave us this way. I’m trying to wrap my head around it. I am loved as I am, Jesus will have me just as I am, but I am loved too much to be left this way.

I’ve been told by so many people to just go to God. But just going to God doesn’t do anything. I have to GO to him. Continue reading “What real recovery looks like”

I’m back, and just in time

Well guys, I never been happier to be behind my laptop. It’s been a few weeks since my last post hasn’t it?

I’ve officially joined the adult world and having been working these past few weeks, it’s  been exhausting to say the least. I love my job, but working the extra days has really took me out of the picture, but I’m so grateful to come straight out of education and into a steady job. I’ve been coming home and just relaxing, too tired to write or do much else. But I feel that as I’m getting into the swing of things and getting myself used to the hours, I can start writing again.

The few weeks off has really been good for both me and this blog. I have a lot of exiting things planed and a better outlook.

But before I get onto that, one exciting date passed for this blog, its first year anniversary. Yes, Lost In The Story has been around for a whole year! How exciting is that? I never expected to grow a following and last this long on such a highly saturated platform. I’m truly thankful for all of you, my readers. I’ve learned so much about myself through this blog and continue to grow.

Thank you.

So more about these plans I have… Continue reading “I’m back, and just in time”