These past few weeks I’ve had the pleasure of reading Let’s talk about love by Claire Kann. I’d spotted this book not too long back online, I’d read a few reviews and was finding myself pleasantly surprised with what I was reading from fellow bloggers. Truth be told, love stories really aren’t my thing. As a sub plot they’re fine but I’ve never gone down the whole romance route before and had few intentions to do so. However, I’d never before came across a character who was asexual so I was curious to read it and how the author would portray them. Continue reading “Let’s talk about love – book review”
Sometimes I’m still insecure about my weight.
After everything that happened last August and God completely healing me of anorexia, I haven’t quite accepted this new body of mine yet. It’s not even like my weight gain was all that bad once I no longer had the eating disorder, I expected to blow up like a balloon and to be uncontrollably eating but that never happened. Sure to start with I was pretty bloated around the stomach area (after long periods of starvation your body doesn’t trust you so any fat it gains goes straight to your tummy area to protect all your vital organs) and my face was a little more squishy from my body retaining water. But in all honesty, I didn’t gain all that much and I didn’t get all that bigger either. Sure, I don’t own any scales and haven’t weighed myself since the disorder was no longer in my life, so mass wise I may have gained but in my physically appearance it wasn’t as scary as I expected.
I understand that at some point everyone is a little insecure about how their body looks and I know some of my insecurity’s do stem from that, and that’s ok. But my more deep insecurity’s about my body come from seeing other people who suffer from an eating disorder themselves and are at a dangerously low weight.
I don’t use the word triggering all that often, mainly because I think people have made it too mainstream and forgot the true meaning and power that word has. But using the word to it’s full seriousness, I still find unhealthy thin people triggering, it makes me wounder what I could have looked like if I just ran with my eating disorder just that little bit longer, maybe then all of the pain would have been worth it? It’s something I’ve felt a great deal of shame towards because God took away my eating disorder, so why do I miss it sometimes?
Well looks like I’m officially an adult now huh?
For those of you who didn’t know, I had my 20th birthday a week and a bit back. I had a lovely day and made some grate memories surrounded by family. I didn’t mind being 19 too much because I could technically still call myself a teenager. But at 20 I’m apparently now 100% an adult… not sure how I feel about that. I hardly feel like a grown up and in my head I’m stuck at 17 still but I guess that’s normal.
It’s been over a week since I hit 20, so this post is a little late, but today I’d like to share with you twenty lessons that I’ve learned in twenty years of living.
Losing some people
This one might seem a bit strange, how can I be thankful to lose some people in my life?
Well to start with I don’t mean people who I know that have passed away, what I’m taking about is the people in my day-to-day life who I’ve drifted apart from or left all together. I’m not a big fan of the phrase ‘toxic people’ because it’s harsh and degrading of them, but there have been people in my life who haven’t exactly been good for me. I’ve always struggled with the friends who have left my life and I cling on to a broken friendship for longer than what’s healthy. It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve matured enough to understand that good that have come out of certain individuals leaving.
I don’t belive for a second that cutting someone straight out of your life suddenly is a healthy approach to things. No matter the relationship you have with someone you used to deem a good friend, however complicated it is, there will always be good memories you’ve made with them. Am I happy that some people are out of my life? Yes, I am. It might have taken me a while to understand that I am better off without them and they were capping my growth as a person, but looking back I’m grateful for changing friendships and losing some who weren’t all that good for me, but I’m also thankful for the good times we had when I knew then. Continue reading “Things I’m grateful for- pt2”