This post feels like the end of a chapter, it’s going to be my last time writing to you guys before I go to University. In a few days time I’ll be settling into my new room and living alone for the first time in my life, to say I’m terrified would be an understatement. I’m excited, but I’m scared too.
I know that my first month at uni is going to be on the crazy side and seeing as I’m studying writing I’m really not sure how often I’m going to be able to blog. I think my writing muscles are going to be exhausted from my course. I’m not going anywhere though, don’t worry. I know I’ve dropped from posting weekly to biweekly but that doesn’t mean my blogging days are over. I’ve discovered that I have more hobbies than just blogging, I love art and I even started my own art account on Instagram to share my work. I set up my own Etsy store because I love to make things and bring a smile to people’s faces. I’ve been learning a lot about myself recently and it’s been very valuable to me. By blogging less, it’s made me enjoy it more. I’m talking to you guys because I want to and not because I feel like I have to.
I guess the reason I wanted to write today was to say thank you to you guys as I know I’m not going to be around as much for a bit. Continue reading “End of an era”
I feel like this post could potentially get me a teeny tiny bit of backlash so I’m going to start off with a disclaimer. Everything I talk about today is of my own experience and no I’m not a doctor. If you’re in recovery from an ED yourself, please listen to what your doctor is saying to you about exercise and not me. They actually know what’s medically good for you. I’m just talking about my own experiences here and have had the all clear to be exercising under supervision.
Now that the serious bit is over… I’ve started running and I’m loving it.
If 12-year-old me was reading this, they’d probably weep. Despite being a dancer, I found no pleasure in running what so ever. But now 7 years later, I’ve started to get the bug.
I can probably guarantee that some of you are probally thinking “you said you’re recovering from anorexia, why are you exercising? Have you relapsed?”
The answer is no, I haven’t relapsed nor is my disorder ‘fake’ becsue I’m running.
I while back I spoke about being a competitive dancer, and how I had so much energy as a kid that I was enrolled in two separate dance schools just so I could burn off the extra energy. All those years later, I’m still a ball full of energy. I’m a constant fidget and just need to get the energy out some how. Naturally, a lot has changed since I developed an eating disorder and it has stopped exercise for me. I’m not going to go into detail about my relationship with exercise at my worst points because I don’t want anyone who’s struggling to get any ideas, so you’re just going to have to take my word when I say I had a very bad relationship with working out.
Continue reading “Exercising during recovery”
After fighting it for too long, I’ve conclude that I’m a self perfectionist with an insane work ethic.
I’ve been told this many time by the book thief I’m dating and my mum. It’s no secret that I work a little too hard a little too often. It’s came in handy during my time at college and all of my extra hobbies and commitments I have. So it’s not exactly been a bad thing.
But in my personal life it’s caused a bit of an issue.
Sharing my recovery with a bunch of strangers online is a bit daunting. A lot of the time it can cause me to put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. When your blog is based on showing God’s love through your recovery of an eating disorder, it’s hard to know what to write about when you’ve slipped. It’s hard not to feel extra ashamed when you know you have people looking up to you.
Maybe that’s my inner perfectionist shining through.
But wanting to be perfect will always trip me up. So I’m going to be real about it today. I had the sudden realisation today that I don’t have to write a raw post. Raw posts don’t alway help people, but a real post will.
Let’s be real about what perfectionism does to progress. Continue reading “Perfection or progress?”