There’s a post sitting in my drafts pile, all the content is there, I wrote it by hand in my diary and typed it into a post for you guys. However, I’m slowly becoming more conflicted about publishing it. I’m not entirely sure why this is the case, but I think it has something to do with the past week and a bit. I’ve been deeply inspired by other bloggers who talk so openly about their mental health and how through them being vulnerable, they’ve aided and helped their readers. Their words and stories have challenged me to share some of my own battles and thoughts. Sure, I’ve talked about my own struggles with an eating disorder on here, but nothing like the scale that some of peoples share. All of this has left me staring at this page unable to continue, too conflicted and confused to really do much else.
So, I’m putting it to rest for a bit and moving on to this one, I’m going to change my tune and instead of looking at myself I’m going to spend a while contemplating all the things I’m grateful for. Continue reading “Things I’m grateful for – pt3”
Hello all, long time so no see.
I’ve been looking forward to when I could get back to blogging and chatting to you all. Since coming back off my holiday things have been a bit intense and finding the time and energy to write has proved harder than expected. However, I’m effectively unable to stand today, let alone walk, because of my feet so I’m trying to make the most of it by sitting down at my desk and writing. I’m a tad unsure what to talk about but I’m confident we’ll come up with something. I have my favorite film, Cirque Du Soleil worlds away, playing on my other monitor and a cup of coffee to my right so I’m going to get very sidetracked while writing today.
Seeing as I’ve been away for a few weeks I’m thinking today could be more of a catch-up post. I’m classing it as one of my coffee shop chats even though I’m not physically in a coffee shop right now but I’m sure you can forgive me for that. Continue reading “Who’s up for a catch up?”
As a lover of photography there was one area that I never expected to have difficulty with as a blogger… taking photos.
I spent most of my childhood behind a camera of some sort, ranging from disposable cameras when I was really little to my trusty Nickon with all the bells and whistles. I’m a collector of memories and capturing a moment forever is my main method of documenting my life. So when I started blogging I was more than comfortable with looking through a lens and capturing quality photos. But the more I got into the blogging community and the more I interacted with other bloggers and their content I began to notice a pattern forming. Not only were people churning out high quality photos, but their photos included them! Lifestyle bloggers particular often show the blogger themselves in their photos and look stunning in the process. As a camera-shy introvert with serious confidence issues, this poses a real problem to me as I’m not exactly willing to be in front of a camera without serious bribing and promise of coffee and cake afterwards.
This present me with a conundrum, is it possible to be a blogger and camera-shy? Continue reading “Being a camera shy blogger”
Honest question, how involved have you been feeling with your life lately?
It’s a funny question I know, but do you truly feel engaged with your life or do you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel simply going through the motions?
For me, I’ve been feeling like I’ve just been sitting back and watching time slip past. I wake up, go to work, come home, eat tea, go to sleep and then repeat. Nothing is bad, but then nothing is making me excited for the day either as I’m sure many of you can relate.
Thinking about this I feel like my main problem is a little thing called mindless scrolling. We’ve all been there, you’ve sat down and a few seconds later your phone is in your hand and you’re doing that thumb motion scrolling through social media. You’re not particularly taking in any sort of information, you’re simply scrolling with no real purpose. How often do we do this? Truth be told I struggle to sit down with a book now because my attention span is shot and I want to see if anything has changed on my twitter feed in the last 30 seconds. By no means am I addicted to my phone, but I do have an unhealthy relationship with it and social media.
When I have the time to do something, like read a book or spend some time reading my bible or even pick up my sketchbook, I simply don’t have the energy to. It’s not that I’ve had a hard day and want to nap, I just feel like it requires too much brain power and scrolling through social media is far easier than that.
I’m starting to think that this lack of feeling engadged with my own life is partially caused by this need to be mindlessly scrolling on my social media pages. It’s not like I can justify it with my blog and call it work either (because let’s be real, how often do I post on Instagram?). I simply waste so much time in front a screen that making me feel a bit rubbish about myself.
So a few days ago I made the decision to uninstall Instagram on my phone. My account is still up and running, just the app is no longer on my phone.
I’d like to share with you my last few days. Continue reading “Here for life”
Well here we are folks, 2018 is almost up. We have a few days until Christmas and then is a quick ride till the new year. Where has the past 12 months gone?
I can’t say I’m big on new years resolutions and self-reflection for the passing year was never my thing and yet here I am writing this. If you’re on twitter now is the time where you find funny hashtags like #2018infivewords and other short bursts of witty humor grace our screens. Got to admit though, most of them hold a dark sense of humor to the fact that for most, 2018 has been a bit of a rubbish year.
When I look back to the last 356 days I seem to naturally start gravitating to the more negative aspects, the things that left a funny, unpleasant taste in my mouth for the rest of the year. It’d be so easy for me to only look at the hardship and pain leaving me agreeing with twitter in saying 2018 was a rubbish year. But unlike most I have a memory bank that allows me to not forget any moment that matters, and that memory bank come in the form of this blog.
When scrolling back over this years posts, my life that I’ve shared with thousands of people on the internet, I can’t help but feel a whole heap of respect for this year. It’s by no means been easy, but 2018 has been a year that’s truly made a difference. So I’m breaking out of the negativity and sharing with you all today how blogging in 2018 has made a diffrence.
I hope you enjoy
Continue reading “How blogging in 2018 made a difference”
After fighting it for too long, I’ve conclude that I’m a self perfectionist with an insane work ethic.
I’ve been told this many time by the book thief I’m dating and my mum. It’s no secret that I work a little too hard a little too often. It’s came in handy during my time at college and all of my extra hobbies and commitments I have. So it’s not exactly been a bad thing.
But in my personal life it’s caused a bit of an issue.
Sharing my recovery with a bunch of strangers online is a bit daunting. A lot of the time it can cause me to put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. When your blog is based on showing God’s love through your recovery of an eating disorder, it’s hard to know what to write about when you’ve slipped. It’s hard not to feel extra ashamed when you know you have people looking up to you.
Maybe that’s my inner perfectionist shining through.
But wanting to be perfect will always trip me up. So I’m going to be real about it today. I had the sudden realisation today that I don’t have to write a raw post. Raw posts don’t alway help people, but a real post will.
Let’s be real about what perfectionism does to progress. Continue reading “Perfection or progress?”