Hey guys, long time no see huh?
I’ve been MIA for a bit, I feel as if I left you all on a bit of a cliff hanger. There I was taking about finally being free of anorexia and then I disappeared for almost two months my longest break from blogging ever.
Well I’m feeling a little more up to blogging now, it’s been a surprisingly odd two months but I’ll fill you in on that in a bit.
Bur first things first I’d like to get start this off on a really cool note, I’ve been recovered from anorexia for just over two months now! I can say that finally hit home of how big a deal my healing of anorexia was. I ended up chatting briefly to an acquaintance of mine who used to suffer themselves from an eating disorder and just listening to how they spoke about themselves even after being recovered really made me realise how incredible my own healing was. It’s really humbling that God was gracious enough to heal me from my own eating disorder. If you haven’t already I’d ask that you checked out my last post that explained how all of that came about Let’s talk about faith.
Continue reading “Life after anorexia, two months on”
Fun fact, when I started blogging I was originally going to go under a different name. I knew how personal my blog would become and felt too intimidated by people in my life knowing what I wrote about (like seriously, very few people knew I suffered from anorexia and I had every intention to keep it hidden). Instead of going by my first name, I was going to go by my middle name, Faith.
Of course here we are a year later and I’m not Faith. Truth be told I thought it was a bit cheesy if I was going to be sharing my faith in God and went by the name Faith as well. So I stuck with my own name and hoped that people who knew me wouldn’t stumble across my blog. I wasn’t ashamed of my faith (I’d happily talk to anyone about it) but I was ashamed of the eating disorder I also spoke about.
For those of you who don’t know I’ve suffered with anorexia for 2 years now, but despite blogging about it regularly, I don’t think I’ve ever told the full story. However, today I’m going to change that.
The other week I was back at New Wine United and serving on team again. It was an incredible week, I met some great people, had so much fun, got to help young people and see all the great things that God was doing that week. During that week something quite incredible happened to me. I didn’t blog about it straight away when I got home as I was still trying to process what had happened myself and I wanted to make sure it was real and just didn’t happen in the hype of the moment. But it’s been over a week since it happened nor has it stopped when I got home, so now feels like a good time to share it with you all. Continue reading “Lets talk about Faith.”
“I haven’t felt free in a long time. I’m either trapped by anorexia or hindered by anxiety. I want to be FREE.”
“I’m literally at the cusp of recovery. I’m not in need of mans help at the moment, but God’s. I need to rely on him now, I needed to a long time ago. I CAN AND WILL LIVE A LIFE FREE OF THIS!!”
“I’ve never felt my heart cry out like this before. No matter how many counseling session I attend, how many books I read, coping strategies I use, I have never felt this before. I want to do more than cry because to cry doesn’t touch deep enough. I think I want to mourn, I want to let myself feel the pain I’ve kept behind bursting doors. Only Jesus knows what I’m feeling, I can’t trust this expression of pain to anyone else but him. He’s the only one who can feel it too.”
Above are three journal entries I’ve written within the last month.
Possibly for the first time in my life I’m understanding how hard it is to follow God every step of the way.
It’s really hard to follow God, there I said it.
To follow God through recovery is so hard. To hold Jesus’ hand is hard because he’s asking so much of me and yet nothing at all. I once read a quote that said God loves us just as we are, but too much to leave us this way. I’m trying to wrap my head around it. I am loved as I am, Jesus will have me just as I am, but I am loved too much to be left this way.
I’ve been told by so many people to just go to God. But just going to God doesn’t do anything. I have to GO to him. Continue reading “What real recovery looks like”
When I was younger I went to an event called ‘World Thinking Day’ with Girl guiding. It was held in Telford and attended by hundreds of girls. That particular year, we were looking at different cultures. There were activity, weird tasting food and we got to meet some epic people.
One of those people was a lady from South Africa. I don’t remember much of the activity we did with her but she said something that has stayed with me even today.
Your words are powerful but your words can hurt.
As a 11-year-old I had already experienced several times how hurtful words could be yet I’d never considered them to be powerful Continue reading “Do you speak life or death?”
Having divorced parents means that it’s quite rare my mum and dad will see eye to eye on a subject. However, there are the occasions where their advice compliments one another’s. One of these times came in the form of me sharing my faith with my peers.
I really like telling people about God, especially my friends. If I care about you in the slightest, I’ll want you to know God and what Jesus did for you on the cross.
However, none of my friends have given their life to God and as a young, easily excitable Christian, I can find myself getting quite down about it. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I’m not afraid to tell them about God, to offer to pray with them and attempt to live a life that reflects Jesus. Continue reading “The best advice my parents have given me about evangelism”
This week I’ve been completing work experience as part of my college course. I’ve been at a fantastic place called ‘Designs in mind‘. They’re a designer and maker studio refered through mental health services.
I have another week left at the studio and I can say that I’m throughly looking forward to it. The project is just amazing and they’re making such a positive impact in people’s lives and the in the local community.
During this week I’ve had a lot of time for relection on my bus journey home. After talking with some of the people there I’ve looked back on my own path and my mental health and wondered how I’ve made it this far. Continue reading “How I’ve made it this far”