August writing goals

There’s an uneasy feeling at home in my stomach as I write this, call it nerves or excitement. I’ve always wanted to be a author, so why does making a very conscious effort to do that very thing feel so scary? I’m thinking it has something to do with you guys. Never before have I taken my stories to an audience like this, never before have I had a methods of accountability. Maybe the realisation that I can be an author is a tad overwhelming for me, I guess I never expected it to happen.

Yet here we are, no one is making my fingers press these keys.

As mentioned in my last post, I’m bring my blog back to its core themes faith, recovery and writing. If you’re reading this, then you’ve made it just in time for me to kick-start something cool for you guys and terrifying for me.

Monthly writing goals.

Yup, I am writing a book and you guys are joining me for the ride.

How this is going to work is quite simple.

At the start of the month I will set myself a series of goals all based on my book. I’m thinking 3  minimum is a good number, but that is completely flexible. I will them openly publish those goals to my blog you guys to see.

So far that doesn’t sound too bad does it?

The real challenge for me is that along side writing these goals every month, I’m also going to honestly review the previous months goals. That means if I don’t do them you guys will all judge me (isn’t that fun?).

So understandably there isn’t any review this month as this is my first goal setting post. But I think I will review my writing progress in general so you all know where I’m at.

August Goals 2018

  1. Finish the chapter I’m writing– I’m currently stuck on the first chapter of the book. I have written more than one chapter (I can feel your judgments through my screen), but I like to write ideally in chronological order, and to do this I need to finish chapter 1.
  2. Name my MC (main character)- You read that correct my protagonist doesn’t have a name yet or a gender. In all of my writing I simply have refered to them as MC. I plan to go back when I have a fitting identity for them and amend it. The main reason I haven’t pinned them down to an identity yet is because I’m unsure of a particular plot point. However, the first few chapters don’t revolve around this plot point yet, I saw no reason for my productivity to be held up so I carried on writing without my MC being set in stone.
  3. Have 2 writing sprints– I am not a constant writer at all. I am easily distracted by YouTube and my Nintendo Switch. However, I can write in sprints. For those of you who don’t know a writing sprint is where you plonk yourself down infront of your laptop and write for a set period of time. You write as much as you can, no editing, no looking back. You just write. I am going to do two this month, one that is 15 minuets long and one that is 30. This is more so I can work out what time works best and how long I need to spend editing afterwards.

So those are my goals for this month. I am really looking forward to how this accountability thing works out. As mentioned before, this is my first month so I have no goals to review this time. But as I said, I’m going to give you a brief insight on where I am in the writing process.

Progress so far…

I’ve set out to write a Novella (a book with under 40,000 words in it). The main reason I’ve choses such a small word count is because I just want to get my first draft done. I’ve outlined my book and found that I only had about 10 chapters worth of ideas. Instead of trying to add random words in, to make up a healthy word count, I’ve decided to just run with it for now with the intentions of expanding the plot once I’d finished. However, as I’ve been writing I’ve found that I’m getting more ideas and more plot points. All of this will help me take off the cap of 40,000 words and go the full way.

I’ve loosely got themes, laws, society and a general feel for the world I’ll be writing about. I’ve decided to write what I like to read and go down the fantasy route as secretly (don’t tell anyone) I love fantasy books. The story isn’t set in our world, but there are a few inspirations from English history I’ve nabbed. Not to mention, the people in the world don’t have technology as such, but science exists alongside magic. All in all, I’m creating a new world with a few home comforts and familiaritys.

So that’s all for today guys.

If you’re a writer yourself, please do say Hi. It’s been harder than I thought to connect with other writers in the community.

I hope you’re looking forward to next month where I’ll be reviewing these goals. I’m going to try extra hard to start as I mean to carry on and do all three targets. If you’d like to keep up to date and follow my writing journey make sure you subscribe.

Happy writing all.

Why some goals aren’t as good as you think.

Now that September is well and truly settled, I thought it best to look back on the manic month of August.

Most months fly past with no significance or value, I’m living, surviving, sometimes growing and other times skipping through the month. However, this month was different. I can confidently say that I stumbled out of this month battered, bruised with a smile on my lips.

August 2017 was easily the most anticipated month of my life to date, both for positive and negative reasons. The main positives coming from New Wine, what you’ll hear about later.

I’m constantly setting goals. I’m a lover of stationary, notepads and colored pens, I find something satisfying about wring goals and lists down on crisp paper with every shade of ink I can get my hands on. It’s part of the reason I love my bullet journal.

One goal I set myself in 2016 was to be ok when August 2017 came along. I had to be fully recovered from both the eating disorder and anxiety. I had to be normal. No, I had to be perfect by the time that date rolled around.

This was a goal I kept secret, no one knew about my deadline. People knew I was trying to get better, but no one knew about the incredible pressure I put on myself to achieve perfection in only a year. When I slipped up or had a little relapse I would be told that it was ok, my reply would always be No it’s not. My slip up weren’t ok because I couldn’t afford them, I didn’t have time to make mistakes. I needed to be perfect by the deadline.

Why did I set this deadline?

It was a combination of things. I was applying for New Wine, I wanted to be the best version of me that I could be so I could help people. I also knew I was going into a new class in September. When my friends would be starting university, I would be staying at college to study for a third year. I knew I would be two years older than most my classmates and I wanted to appear it. Problem with losing weight is that I didn’t look my age. There were other motives as well.

The problem with such a goal was that it wasn’t achievable.

If I’m honest, looking back, that goal, just made things worse. I wasn’t getting better because I wanted to but because I felt like I needed to.

So when August came along and I wasn’t perfect it hurt. I felt like a failure and I slipped.

Then home life went downhill.

The day I found out what was going to happen I was back counting calories. I got my intake to 1200 a day, then 1000 and finally 800. I was a bit of a mess.

August was a bit of a mess, with the exception of New Wine, yet I’m writing this content with myself.

In fact, I haven’t been this ok in a while.

For the past year and a bit I’ve been looking at life through a broken window whilst wearing sun glasses. It’s left me seeing life very shattered and dark. The saddest part was that I didn’t really appreciate that how I was viewing life was wrong.

New Wine gave me the tools to replace the broken window, and by tools I mean I learned that you can’t replace a window by yourself.

The events at home taught me that I really need to take those sunglasses off.

Life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, church isn’t perfect and homes not perfect but God is.

His perfect loves gives me the ability to forgive people who have hurt us as a family time and time again. I’ve discovered that I have to keep going back to God about these people and having to forgive them over and over because in my own strength I cannot do that. In God’s perfect love though, I can.

In my own strength I’m not doing to get better, recovery has to start with me and I do need to take responsibility for it. However, without God’s influence and is unfailing love, I’m not going to be able to do that. What’s going to be a challenge, I’m not perfect. I struggle praying, don’t read my bible as much as I know I should, I dread coming to church and am very guarded towards other christians.

God doesn’t want a religion, he wants a relationship.

I read this in a book and it really hit home. I can often get caught up in all the religious aspects of things, so what I do simply becomes a habit, it becomes routine. I beat myself up if I don’t pray on a night or if I don’t read my bible everyday, not because I want to particularly and I’m upset that I didn’t, but because it fells like something that I have to do and i felt like a bad christian for not doing them. You’re told to read your bible consistently, you’re told to pray. My attitude towards those things is something I need to effect on and change, right now I’m trying to please people and not God and that’s not ok.

It’s time for me to replace the broken window, take off my sunglasses and enter a relationship with God and not a religion.

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18