There’s a post sitting in my drafts pile, all the content is there, I wrote it by hand in my diary and typed it into a post for you guys. However, I’m slowly becoming more conflicted about publishing it. I’m not entirely sure why this is the case, but I think it has something to do with the past week and a bit. I’ve been deeply inspired by other bloggers who talk so openly about their mental health and how through them being vulnerable, they’ve aided and helped their readers. Their words and stories have challenged me to share some of my own battles and thoughts. Sure, I’ve talked about my own struggles with an eating disorder on here, but nothing like the scale that some of peoples share. All of this has left me staring at this page unable to continue, too conflicted and confused to really do much else.
So, I’m putting it to rest for a bit and moving on to this one, I’m going to change my tune and instead of looking at myself I’m going to spend a while contemplating all the things I’m grateful for. Continue reading “Things I’m grateful for – pt3”
Today I’m excited to bring to you the third installment of my Challenging Perfect mini series that’s been developing over the past few years.
I opened my laptop this afternoon with no idea what to write. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling tired when it comes to my blog. As I’ve made more blogging connections on social media I’ve started to compare myself more to them. I see these incredible posts they write, how inspiring and helpful they are and can’t help but feel mine are a bit rubbish (got to love crippling low self confidence). After staring at a blank page for too long I closed my laptop in a bit of a huff and went to go take my minds off things.
My go to lately has been my sketchbook. I’m currently on my second Sketchbook what is an A4 landscape Art Gecko sketchbook. I did art at GCSE level and whilst I enjoyed it, I wasn’t particularly good in the sense that I was never able to develop my own style so everything I produced was a bit bland and forced. However, I’ve always wanted to draw and set myself the challenge to be able to draw before I got to university. I had an empty sketchbook from my school days and less than 3 month later I had filled it cover to cover.
So this afternoon I picked up my sketchbook, threw on some music and just played around for a bit. I ended up with some practice of creating patterns with my markers, a alrightish drawing of a girl and a cat with a bow tie.
Once done I sat back and just enjoyed flicking through the pages of my work, I even pulled out my first sketchbook and allowed myself to be proud with how far I’ve come with my drawings. Seeing as I’m a creature who struggles to stay on a solid train of thought for more than a few minuets, my mind quickly wondered to the past few months I’ve spent making as I put it ‘bad art’.
I concluded that I’d been feeling a lot more relaxed in myself and was coping a lot better when I made mistakes say at work. Sure I feel bad when I don’t do things perfectly, but I found I was no longer beating myself up for getting things wrong, instead I was taking responsibility for them and using it as a lesson to better myself and not make the mistake again. It took a bit of brain power to chase down why I was feeling this way, I’m no longer seeing a councilor and I’m off all medication, so why the change?
Turns out my sketchbook has a lot to answer for. Continue reading “Make bad art – how drawing is helping me overcome perfectionism”
Fun fact about this post, it has been sitting in my drafts pile for over a year!
There have been so many reasons why such an important topic has been pushed to the side time and time again. It’s been rewrote more than any post I’ve ever done, never feeling happy with the end result. So I’m trying one last time today to make it work, if it doesn’t I’ll have to scrap it all together.
If you’ve read the title then you’ll know that I’m going to be sharing my journey with fitness trackers and freedom today.
Let me start with this, I have nothing against fitness trackers, nothing at all. A big portion of my family wear them to aid them with their training and gym life, I have friends with them. I think when they’re used well they work really well. If you’re starting the journey to a healthier lifestyle then they are a really good step in the right direction. What I’m going to be sharing today is my own journey with them, through my time as an athletic teenager all the way to suffering with anorexia and finally freedom. I know my story is a common one from what I’ve seen on social media and I want to shed some light onto a big problem.
I do want to quickly get some foundation knowledge down though, just so we’re all on the same page; fitness trackers DO NOT cause eating disorders. There are a lot of factors that can result in a person developing a ED and wearing a fitness tracker alone will not make you suddenly have one, but more on that later. Continue reading “Fitness Trackers and freedom”
As a lover of photography there was one area that I never expected to have difficulty with as a blogger… taking photos.
I spent most of my childhood behind a camera of some sort, ranging from disposable cameras when I was really little to my trusty Nickon with all the bells and whistles. I’m a collector of memories and capturing a moment forever is my main method of documenting my life. So when I started blogging I was more than comfortable with looking through a lens and capturing quality photos. But the more I got into the blogging community and the more I interacted with other bloggers and their content I began to notice a pattern forming. Not only were people churning out high quality photos, but their photos included them! Lifestyle bloggers particular often show the blogger themselves in their photos and look stunning in the process. As a camera-shy introvert with serious confidence issues, this poses a real problem to me as I’m not exactly willing to be in front of a camera without serious bribing and promise of coffee and cake afterwards.
This present me with a conundrum, is it possible to be a blogger and camera-shy? Continue reading “Being a camera shy blogger”
Honest question, how involved have you been feeling with your life lately?
It’s a funny question I know, but do you truly feel engaged with your life or do you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel simply going through the motions?
For me, I’ve been feeling like I’ve just been sitting back and watching time slip past. I wake up, go to work, come home, eat tea, go to sleep and then repeat. Nothing is bad, but then nothing is making me excited for the day either as I’m sure many of you can relate.
Thinking about this I feel like my main problem is a little thing called mindless scrolling. We’ve all been there, you’ve sat down and a few seconds later your phone is in your hand and you’re doing that thumb motion scrolling through social media. You’re not particularly taking in any sort of information, you’re simply scrolling with no real purpose. How often do we do this? Truth be told I struggle to sit down with a book now because my attention span is shot and I want to see if anything has changed on my twitter feed in the last 30 seconds. By no means am I addicted to my phone, but I do have an unhealthy relationship with it and social media.
When I have the time to do something, like read a book or spend some time reading my bible or even pick up my sketchbook, I simply don’t have the energy to. It’s not that I’ve had a hard day and want to nap, I just feel like it requires too much brain power and scrolling through social media is far easier than that.
I’m starting to think that this lack of feeling engadged with my own life is partially caused by this need to be mindlessly scrolling on my social media pages. It’s not like I can justify it with my blog and call it work either (because let’s be real, how often do I post on Instagram?). I simply waste so much time in front a screen that making me feel a bit rubbish about myself.
So a few days ago I made the decision to uninstall Instagram on my phone. My account is still up and running, just the app is no longer on my phone.
I’d like to share with you my last few days. Continue reading “Here for life”
After over a year since the idea was first materialised I hit publish on my Esty store, creating a listing for what I hope to be a fun little hobby in the making.
For those of you who don’t know Etsy is a global, online market place that mainly holds small, home-grown businesses. The majority of things sold are hand-made or of limited amount and the people behind the shops are really accommodating and helpful. I try to make an effort to buy as much stuff as possible from Etsy to support the small businesses there.
Since day one of discovering the platform I’ve wanted to sell on it. I make things for fun and thought it’d be a nice hobby that could bring in a small amount of pocket-money. The only problem was that I could never make the same thing consistently, and anything I did make was never a high enough standard to sell to people.
It wasn’t untill I was studying business and I took part in the £5 challenge that things changed. Continue reading “Putting yourself out there and the fear of the unknown- the life of a creative”