How many times have you been told by someone that when you’re feeling down you should get yourself outside, or better yet go for a run? It’s no secret that getting out and excersis has a possitive effect on your mood and health, it’s why doctors and therapists recomend it so often.
I now live in a house of runners, my mum got the bug first last year, I joined in and finally my brother gave it a go not long back and got that same bug. Before the running they were both active in walking and my brother was adamant that he would drag us up every mountain we came across (I’ve summited two so far, but I’m yet to do Snowdon even though that’s my most local mountain range). By observing them I can 100% agree of the benefits of getting out and excising has on your mental health.
But what happens when you can’t join in with those activities, what do you do then?
Me and exercise have always been a thing. I was a competitive dancer growing up and just had too much energy for my own good. I joined in with the mountainering with my family but found it unexciting. Then when I was 17 I developed anorexia and exercise took a different role all together. I tried running when I was recovering but then at 19 I developed a whole new bunch of problems with my feet that limits my mobility to this day, meaning I had to hang up my running shoes once again.
Going outside walking and exercising are both incresingly difficult tasks for me now, what really sucks for a 20 year old who’s trying to gain more inderpencae and hates sympathy. So how do I try and keep on top of my overall mood when my usual activities aren’t always an option?
It’s simple, I pick up my camera.
Continue reading “Why photography is important for my mental health”
A pretty cool date slipped under the radar yesterday, it was this blogs second birthday. It’s been two whole years since I published my very first post ‘Breaking it down’
I did start writing a post to reflect on two years of blogging however, if you’ve been keeping up to date with my posts then you’ll know that I’ve been letting myself relax more with my blog for my own health. I used to keep to a weekly schedule with my posts but as my physical and me natal health took a turn for the worst, I made the decision to relax my grip on myself regarding my blog and only post when I feel up to it (hopefully by doing this you guys will also benefit from better content to). So yes, there’s a partial post in my drafts pile reflecting on two years of blogging, but I was in no shape to finish it… sorry.
Today however, I’m feeling a bit more up to writing so I’m thinking I want to draw on some of the points from reflecting on my blog’s second birthday and some more recent events and do a bit of a Q&A. Continue reading “Being vulnerable online and remembering the start”
Sometimes I’m still insecure about my weight.
After everything that happened last August and God completely healing me of anorexia, I haven’t quite accepted this new body of mine yet. It’s not even like my weight gain was all that bad once I no longer had the eating disorder, I expected to blow up like a balloon and to be uncontrollably eating but that never happened. Sure to start with I was pretty bloated around the stomach area (after long periods of starvation your body doesn’t trust you so any fat it gains goes straight to your tummy area to protect all your vital organs) and my face was a little more squishy from my body retaining water. But in all honesty, I didn’t gain all that much and I didn’t get all that bigger either. Sure, I don’t own any scales and haven’t weighed myself since the disorder was no longer in my life, so mass wise I may have gained but in my physically appearance it wasn’t as scary as I expected.
I understand that at some point everyone is a little insecure about how their body looks and I know some of my insecurity’s do stem from that, and that’s ok. But my more deep insecurity’s about my body come from seeing other people who suffer from an eating disorder themselves and are at a dangerously low weight.
I don’t use the word triggering all that often, mainly because I think people have made it too mainstream and forgot the true meaning and power that word has. But using the word to it’s full seriousness, I still find unhealthy thin people triggering, it makes me wounder what I could have looked like if I just ran with my eating disorder just that little bit longer, maybe then all of the pain would have been worth it? It’s something I’ve felt a great deal of shame towards because God took away my eating disorder, so why do I miss it sometimes?
Continue reading “What you seek”
This post is quite a special one for me to be talking to you about. At the point of reading this I’ll be on holiday in Florida. I’ve never been abroad before, let alone on an airplane so I’m a tad apprehensive about going but I’m sure I handled it fine.
This holiday has been in the planning for over a year, I’m going with my Dad and step mum and I’m so excited. We’re doing the theme parks and hopefully the space center as well. I’ve been saving up for it constantly and fully intend to go nuts and make the most of the American sized portions of food. My bucket list of foods to try when I’m over are mac and cheese, a hot dog and a doughnut at breakfast.
I think that sentence just sums up how much things have changed in the past 12 months. Could any of you picture me saying that I wanted a doughnut for breakfast this time last year? No one would have thought it’d be possible and it’s amazing how much much has changed.
In total seriousness, I can’t wrap my head around what’s changed in such a short amount of time. I remember talking to my councilor over a year and a half ago, telling her that I didn’t want to be anorexic when I’m on holiday in Florida. I wanted to be recovered by then, but deep down I knew it wasn’t going to be possible.
God obviously had other plans for me as here I am 8 month free of anorexia, excited to try American food and make the most of the famously big portion sizes.
I want to try and encompass this feeling towards the fact that I’m going on holiday free of the illness and share with you some of my favorite things that have only been possible since anorexia left my life for good. There truly isn’t enough posts or information telling you how much good will come from recovery, so today I want to share with you what my favorite things are since recovering.
Continue reading “My favorite things that were only possible with recovery”
Fun fact about this post, it has been sitting in my drafts pile for over a year!
There have been so many reasons why such an important topic has been pushed to the side time and time again. It’s been rewrote more than any post I’ve ever done, never feeling happy with the end result. So I’m trying one last time today to make it work, if it doesn’t I’ll have to scrap it all together.
If you’ve read the title then you’ll know that I’m going to be sharing my journey with fitness trackers and freedom today.
Let me start with this, I have nothing against fitness trackers, nothing at all. A big portion of my family wear them to aid them with their training and gym life, I have friends with them. I think when they’re used well they work really well. If you’re starting the journey to a healthier lifestyle then they are a really good step in the right direction. What I’m going to be sharing today is my own journey with them, through my time as an athletic teenager all the way to suffering with anorexia and finally freedom. I know my story is a common one from what I’ve seen on social media and I want to shed some light onto a big problem.
I do want to quickly get some foundation knowledge down though, just so we’re all on the same page; fitness trackers DO NOT cause eating disorders. There are a lot of factors that can result in a person developing a ED and wearing a fitness tracker alone will not make you suddenly have one, but more on that later. Continue reading “Fitness Trackers and freedom”
At the start of the year I wrote a post explaining why I didn’t partake in self-care and wasn’t keen on it being the latest trend. The post was titled Why self care days aren’t for me and was triggered by a session with my counsellor who had challenged me to participate in some good old self-care. Looking back I can feel like I argued my point well and very much at the time stood by what I said, but it was a written way of me digging my heels into the ground and finding as many reasons as possible to not be nice to myself.
It’s been what, a good six months since that post was wrote? A whole lot has changed since then, the biggest one being I’ve been free of anorexia for three months! This month and a bit I’ve had to make a fair amount of changes to my lifestyle and how I treat myself and do some serious thinking on how to be nice to me. So I’m going to start this post off with one simple statement.
I was wrong about self-care.
Continue reading “Why I was wrong about self care”