Why does my passion have to feel so shameful?

I’ve been doing a lot of scrolling through the internet trying to find youth based projects who are advertising for writers. Lately I’ve been trying to expand my writing portfolio and thought this would be a starting point. Surprisingly, I’ve come across one or two and have been looking into applying for them.

One thing I do love about this generation of youth is that we’re probably one of the most empowered generations going and have been enabled to have a voice with the platforms necessary to use it. Many of us feel passionate about something and for young writers that creates the awesome space for us to pick up our pens and start writing to change the world. I too have a passion, something I want to use my voice, pick up my pen and change the world.

My passion to see people with anorexia healed is what drives this blog.

Through my own recovery I so often have spoken about my relationship with God and how it was through him that I was set free from my eating disorder. So when I see a call for young writers to create articles to create change, my immediate thought is to use my testimony to help others.

I was once told that I have a golden ticket testimony, that it will change lives and yet, I hesitate talking about my journey of freedom anywhere else other than this blog. Continue reading “Why does my passion have to feel so shameful?”

Anyone else feel like they’re missing something?

How are we all doing today?

The rain has finally taken a break where I live and the sun is shining through my bed room window as I write. As the grey dampness that is England lifted my mood has perked up a bit what is wonderful.

Today’s post is going to have more of a colloquial chatty style, I don’t have anything structured or planned, I’m simply just going to be sitting at my laptop and talking to you all. I feel it’s been too long since I’ve done a post like this and I find them really beneficial as the writer, it’s like a more punctuated, better spelled brain dump.

I’ve got my favorite song playing in the background (The Woods by Hollow Coves, just incase you were wondering) a lemon tea in my green fish mug and a packet of Quavers next to me. I feel like I’m in a YA novel, recreating the moment when the protagonist is about to make some life changing decision or action (I wish). Continue reading “Anyone else feel like they’re missing something?”

A book that shaped my recovery pt2 – Bloom

In April I brought this incredible book called Bloom, I was so excited when it arrived at my house and like all good blogger, I posted about it on social media with the promise of when I was done with it I’d write a review.

The journal is meant to be three months long, what puts this review well over due but there is a reason for that (what I’ll get into later).

The author of this book is a lovely young woman called Caralyn who has a blog called Beauty Beyond Bones. I feel like I don’t have to write much of an introduction about her blog because I have a hunch so many of you will already know about her and are possible already following it.

My own blog here is based on very similar things, I share my faith and how God has helped me overcome anorexia in my own life. So if you’re following me and like what I write, I’d really recommend you check out Caralyn’s blog if you’re not doing so already (I’ll link it at the end of the post).

So what is Bloom?

Bloom is an interactive journal wrote to help those suffering with anorexia. It’s based off scripture, the authors own experiences during her time as an impatient getting treatment for anorexia and her current day reflections as a young woman living a fully free and recovered life. Continue reading “A book that shaped my recovery pt2 – Bloom”

Life after anorexia, two months on

Hey guys, long time no see huh?

I’ve been MIA for a bit, I feel as if I left you all on a bit of a cliff hanger. There I was taking about finally being free of anorexia and then I disappeared for almost two months my longest break from blogging ever.

Well I’m feeling a little more up to blogging now, it’s been a surprisingly odd two months but I’ll fill you in on that in a bit.

Bur first things first I’d like to get start this off on a really cool note, I’ve been recovered from anorexia for just over two months now! I can say that finally hit home of how big a deal my healing of anorexia was. I ended up chatting briefly to an acquaintance of mine who used to suffer themselves from an eating disorder and just listening to how they spoke about themselves even after being recovered really made me realise how incredible my own healing was. It’s really humbling that God was gracious enough to heal me from my own eating disorder. If you haven’t already I’d ask that you checked out my last post that explained how all of that came about Let’s talk about faith.

Continue reading “Life after anorexia, two months on”

My relationship with change

At my house there’s only a handful of things you’ll see on our TV: Top Gear (or the Grand Tour when the new season comes out!), Yorkshire vet and some sort of Mega build type program. We’re most certainly creatures of habit in our house when it comes to the goggle box.

I myself am a creature of habit, I simply do not like sudden changes. However, since August we’ve been through some pretty major and harsh ones.

If you’ve every met me in real life you will know how hard it is for me to go through periods of change. More often than not I will have private break downs behind closed doors and be running off a constant supply of anxiety for the weeks after it. Change and me do not mix well.

I feel sorry for God in someway during these times of change. I’ve started trying to picture God as this big, warm comforting farther figure and me a small child who’s sitting on his lap (I got this idea from a book called Bloom by Beauty Beyond Bones). During these times of change I always picture myself as the small child squirming, lashing out and wailing with pain, but God’s big strong arms hold me close in a loving embrace. My tiny fists don’t even phase him and slowly I wear out of energy, my crying stops and God just holds me in love. Change is painful for me and boy God has heard my cries more than enough time about it.  Continue reading “My relationship with change”

Knowing when to let go

Today I’m breaking my radio silence about my recovery.

It’s a bitter-sweet post, there’s going to be good and bad. I don’t really want to share the bad, I don’t want to tell you all about my failures but I think I owe it to you guys. What type of role model would I be if I only showed the good side of thing? So, you’ll get to hear it all today, what’s apprehensive for me to be writing about.

So here we go.

The truth guys, the eating disorder has let go of me but I haven’t let go of it.

I can’t let anorexia go. Continue reading “Knowing when to let go”