This post feels like the end of a chapter, it’s going to be my last time writing to you guys before I go to University. In a few days time I’ll be settling into my new room and living alone for the first time in my life, to say I’m terrified would be an understatement. I’m excited, but I’m scared too.
I know that my first month at uni is going to be on the crazy side and seeing as I’m studying writing I’m really not sure how often I’m going to be able to blog. I think my writing muscles are going to be exhausted from my course. I’m not going anywhere though, don’t worry. I know I’ve dropped from posting weekly to biweekly but that doesn’t mean my blogging days are over. I’ve discovered that I have more hobbies than just blogging, I love art and I even started my own art account on Instagram to share my work. I set up my own Etsy store because I love to make things and bring a smile to people’s faces. I’ve been learning a lot about myself recently and it’s been very valuable to me. By blogging less, it’s made me enjoy it more. I’m talking to you guys because I want to and not because I feel like I have to.
I guess the reason I wanted to write today was to say thank you to you guys as I know I’m not going to be around as much for a bit. Continue reading “End of an era”
How many times have you been told by someone that when you’re feeling down you should get yourself outside, or better yet go for a run? It’s no secret that getting out and excersis has a possitive effect on your mood and health, it’s why doctors and therapists recomend it so often.
I now live in a house of runners, my mum got the bug first last year, I joined in and finally my brother gave it a go not long back and got that same bug. Before the running they were both active in walking and my brother was adamant that he would drag us up every mountain we came across (I’ve summited two so far, but I’m yet to do Snowdon even though that’s my most local mountain range). By observing them I can 100% agree of the benefits of getting out and excising has on your mental health.
But what happens when you can’t join in with those activities, what do you do then?
Me and exercise have always been a thing. I was a competitive dancer growing up and just had too much energy for my own good. I joined in with the mountainering with my family but found it unexciting. Then when I was 17 I developed anorexia and exercise took a different role all together. I tried running when I was recovering but then at 19 I developed a whole new bunch of problems with my feet that limits my mobility to this day, meaning I had to hang up my running shoes once again.
Going outside walking and exercising are both incresingly difficult tasks for me now, what really sucks for a 20 year old who’s trying to gain more inderpencae and hates sympathy. So how do I try and keep on top of my overall mood when my usual activities aren’t always an option?
It’s simple, I pick up my camera.
Continue reading “Why photography is important for my mental health”
Sometimes I’m still insecure about my weight.
After everything that happened last August and God completely healing me of anorexia, I haven’t quite accepted this new body of mine yet. It’s not even like my weight gain was all that bad once I no longer had the eating disorder, I expected to blow up like a balloon and to be uncontrollably eating but that never happened. Sure to start with I was pretty bloated around the stomach area (after long periods of starvation your body doesn’t trust you so any fat it gains goes straight to your tummy area to protect all your vital organs) and my face was a little more squishy from my body retaining water. But in all honesty, I didn’t gain all that much and I didn’t get all that bigger either. Sure, I don’t own any scales and haven’t weighed myself since the disorder was no longer in my life, so mass wise I may have gained but in my physically appearance it wasn’t as scary as I expected.
I understand that at some point everyone is a little insecure about how their body looks and I know some of my insecurity’s do stem from that, and that’s ok. But my more deep insecurity’s about my body come from seeing other people who suffer from an eating disorder themselves and are at a dangerously low weight.
I don’t use the word triggering all that often, mainly because I think people have made it too mainstream and forgot the true meaning and power that word has. But using the word to it’s full seriousness, I still find unhealthy thin people triggering, it makes me wounder what I could have looked like if I just ran with my eating disorder just that little bit longer, maybe then all of the pain would have been worth it? It’s something I’ve felt a great deal of shame towards because God took away my eating disorder, so why do I miss it sometimes?
Continue reading “What you seek”
As a lover of photography there was one area that I never expected to have difficulty with as a blogger… taking photos.
I spent most of my childhood behind a camera of some sort, ranging from disposable cameras when I was really little to my trusty Nickon with all the bells and whistles. I’m a collector of memories and capturing a moment forever is my main method of documenting my life. So when I started blogging I was more than comfortable with looking through a lens and capturing quality photos. But the more I got into the blogging community and the more I interacted with other bloggers and their content I began to notice a pattern forming. Not only were people churning out high quality photos, but their photos included them! Lifestyle bloggers particular often show the blogger themselves in their photos and look stunning in the process. As a camera-shy introvert with serious confidence issues, this poses a real problem to me as I’m not exactly willing to be in front of a camera without serious bribing and promise of coffee and cake afterwards.
This present me with a conundrum, is it possible to be a blogger and camera-shy? Continue reading “Being a camera shy blogger”