In an age of planners and organisation can we really plan in our faith?

I had a weird realization yesterday as I scrolled through Etsy.

I was looking for next years planner, debating whether I wanted to stuck with my good old trusty bullet journal or transition into something much more flexible like a travelers notebook. I’m not sure how many others also give so much consideration into a few pieces of papers, but for me I just need a physical planner to get me through a year (I can’t stand any of that electronic stuff).

Pages deep into the wonderful site I’d settled on a planner (a travelers notebook) and was considering how many inserts I’d need and of what type. One lesson my dad taught me was to have a plan, a five year plan at the minimum and that’s a lesson that’s suck with me. I find myself very unsettled when I can’t see where I’m going, what my year will look like and it’s translated over into how I use my planners. 

I’ve chosen to use a travelers notebook for 2019 because I think it’s going to give me the flexibility a bullet journal can’t, but that got me thinking…

How much flexibility is there is my life plan for God to move? Continue reading “In an age of planners and organisation can we really plan in our faith?”

A book that shaped my recovery pt2 – Bloom

In April I brought this incredible book called Bloom, I was so excited when it arrived at my house and like all good blogger, I posted about it on social media with the promise of when I was done with it I’d write a review.

The journal is meant to be three months long, what puts this review well over due but there is a reason for that (what I’ll get into later).

The author of this book is a lovely young woman called Caralyn who has a blog called Beauty Beyond Bones. I feel like I don’t have to write much of an introduction about her blog because I have a hunch so many of you will already know about her and are possible already following it.

My own blog here is based on very similar things, I share my faith and how God has helped me overcome anorexia in my own life. So if you’re following me and like what I write, I’d really recommend you check out Caralyn’s blog if you’re not doing so already (I’ll link it at the end of the post).

So what is Bloom?

Bloom is an interactive journal wrote to help those suffering with anorexia. It’s based off scripture, the authors own experiences during her time as an impatient getting treatment for anorexia and her current day reflections as a young woman living a fully free and recovered life. Continue reading “A book that shaped my recovery pt2 – Bloom”

What real recovery looks like

“I haven’t felt free in a long time. I’m either trapped by anorexia or hindered by anxiety. I want to be FREE.”

“I’m literally at the cusp of recovery. I’m not in need of mans help at the moment, but God’s. I need to rely on him now, I needed to a long time ago. I CAN AND WILL LIVE A LIFE FREE OF THIS!!”

“I’ve never felt my heart cry out like this before. No matter how many counseling session I attend, how many books I read, coping strategies I use, I have never felt this before. I want to do more than cry because to cry doesn’t touch deep enough. I think I want to mourn, I want to let myself feel the pain I’ve kept behind bursting doors. Only Jesus knows what I’m feeling, I can’t trust this expression of pain to anyone else but him. He’s the only one who can feel it too.”

Above are three journal entries I’ve written within the last month.

Possibly for the first time in my life I’m understanding how hard it is to follow God every step of the way.

It’s really hard to follow God, there I said it.

To follow God through recovery is so hard. To hold Jesus’ hand is hard because he’s asking so much of me and yet nothing at all. I once read a quote that said God loves us just as we are, but too much to leave us this way. I’m trying to wrap my head around it. I am loved as I am, Jesus will have me just as I am, but I am loved too much to be left this way.

I’ve been told by so many people to just go to God. But just going to God doesn’t do anything. I have to GO to him. Continue reading “What real recovery looks like”

Make me anew

I’ve spent the last week decorating at home with my mum. It’s been a tad overdue but it’s finally getting sorted.

Personally, I’ve never decorated before or painted a wall. Sure I can paint a canvas, so how hard could it be? We’ve been living at this house for a good 16 years so I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of making a room our own. But last August the opportunity arose to make ‘The Barn’ our own.

‘The Barn’ is the lean-to at the side of the house. It’s this funny combination of a shed and a conservatory that links the house to the garage. It sounds fancy, but it’s called ‘The Barn’ for a reason. It leaks, it’s moldy as the garage and it’s cold, but it’s secure. It also looked like a barn when it was occupied by mums old partner.

The Barn is now ours and with free access for the first time in years, we’ve decided to turn it into a proper room.  Continue reading “Make me anew”