I’m starting this post off by saying I’m well and truly exhausted at the moment. I’m at work tomorrow and really should be switching off for the night and trying to relax before the day arrives however, instead I feel compelled to write.
I’ve been feeling a little lost in my blog as of late, some of you more long term readers might have noticed a subtle shift in my words. I’ve been struggling to pin point what’s been causing the uneasiness, part of me even considered if this was my season of blogging drawing to a close. I’m starting to think I’ve cracked where things have been going a bit wonky, I think I’ve took my eyes off the real reason for this blog.
Lost In The Story was created as an outlet for my recovery of anorexia, a safe place where I could just talk to other people and no one at all. This blog started off anonymously, no one knew who I was. I was simply a girl fighting an eating disorder and trying to find God in the mess of it all. I was a science student with no plans for the future, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted a future. Eventually though a small community developed here, whilst we’re only a small group I think I do truly have the kindest and most encouraging readers going – you’re all amazing.
The first year of my blog passed and I finished my science qualification and decided to do an extra year and study business. I started to take my blog more seriously in this year, I was learning more and more and soon was putting what I learned into practice here. I felt more empowered to try and turn this into a potential side job one day. I was still sharing my faith and my struggles but I think this was the first real stumble for me. I said right when I first started that this blog was never about making money, it was about sharing God and all the amazing things he was doing in my life. Continue reading “Where you stand”
Today I’m excited to bring to you the third installment of my Challenging Perfect mini series that’s been developing over the past few years.
I opened my laptop this afternoon with no idea what to write. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling tired when it comes to my blog. As I’ve made more blogging connections on social media I’ve started to compare myself more to them. I see these incredible posts they write, how inspiring and helpful they are and can’t help but feel mine are a bit rubbish (got to love crippling low self confidence). After staring at a blank page for too long I closed my laptop in a bit of a huff and went to go take my minds off things.
My go to lately has been my sketchbook. I’m currently on my second Sketchbook what is an A4 landscape Art Gecko sketchbook. I did art at GCSE level and whilst I enjoyed it, I wasn’t particularly good in the sense that I was never able to develop my own style so everything I produced was a bit bland and forced. However, I’ve always wanted to draw and set myself the challenge to be able to draw before I got to university. I had an empty sketchbook from my school days and less than 3 month later I had filled it cover to cover.
So this afternoon I picked up my sketchbook, threw on some music and just played around for a bit. I ended up with some practice of creating patterns with my markers, a alrightish drawing of a girl and a cat with a bow tie.
Once done I sat back and just enjoyed flicking through the pages of my work, I even pulled out my first sketchbook and allowed myself to be proud with how far I’ve come with my drawings. Seeing as I’m a creature who struggles to stay on a solid train of thought for more than a few minuets, my mind quickly wondered to the past few months I’ve spent making as I put it ‘bad art’.
I concluded that I’d been feeling a lot more relaxed in myself and was coping a lot better when I made mistakes say at work. Sure I feel bad when I don’t do things perfectly, but I found I was no longer beating myself up for getting things wrong, instead I was taking responsibility for them and using it as a lesson to better myself and not make the mistake again. It took a bit of brain power to chase down why I was feeling this way, I’m no longer seeing a councilor and I’m off all medication, so why the change?
Turns out my sketchbook has a lot to answer for. Continue reading “Make bad art – how drawing is helping me overcome perfectionism”
This post is quite a special one for me to be talking to you about. At the point of reading this I’ll be on holiday in Florida. I’ve never been abroad before, let alone on an airplane so I’m a tad apprehensive about going but I’m sure I handled it fine.
This holiday has been in the planning for over a year, I’m going with my Dad and step mum and I’m so excited. We’re doing the theme parks and hopefully the space center as well. I’ve been saving up for it constantly and fully intend to go nuts and make the most of the American sized portions of food. My bucket list of foods to try when I’m over are mac and cheese, a hot dog and a doughnut at breakfast.
I think that sentence just sums up how much things have changed in the past 12 months. Could any of you picture me saying that I wanted a doughnut for breakfast this time last year? No one would have thought it’d be possible and it’s amazing how much much has changed.
In total seriousness, I can’t wrap my head around what’s changed in such a short amount of time. I remember talking to my councilor over a year and a half ago, telling her that I didn’t want to be anorexic when I’m on holiday in Florida. I wanted to be recovered by then, but deep down I knew it wasn’t going to be possible.
God obviously had other plans for me as here I am 8 month free of anorexia, excited to try American food and make the most of the famously big portion sizes.
I want to try and encompass this feeling towards the fact that I’m going on holiday free of the illness and share with you some of my favorite things that have only been possible since anorexia left my life for good. There truly isn’t enough posts or information telling you how much good will come from recovery, so today I want to share with you what my favorite things are since recovering.
Continue reading “My favorite things that were only possible with recovery”
As a lover of photography there was one area that I never expected to have difficulty with as a blogger… taking photos.
I spent most of my childhood behind a camera of some sort, ranging from disposable cameras when I was really little to my trusty Nickon with all the bells and whistles. I’m a collector of memories and capturing a moment forever is my main method of documenting my life. So when I started blogging I was more than comfortable with looking through a lens and capturing quality photos. But the more I got into the blogging community and the more I interacted with other bloggers and their content I began to notice a pattern forming. Not only were people churning out high quality photos, but their photos included them! Lifestyle bloggers particular often show the blogger themselves in their photos and look stunning in the process. As a camera-shy introvert with serious confidence issues, this poses a real problem to me as I’m not exactly willing to be in front of a camera without serious bribing and promise of coffee and cake afterwards.
This present me with a conundrum, is it possible to be a blogger and camera-shy? Continue reading “Being a camera shy blogger”