I originally had something completely different ready for this week’s post however, in-light of recent events I thought it’d be worth addressing something else today. I think everyone is aware what’s going off around the world with the COVID-19 virus and all the confusion that’s bringing with it.
Last Monday the UK finally went on lockdown. Thankfully my Dad had picked me up from Uni on the Saturday and I’m living with him, so I’m no longer in beautiful Wales. I’m sad to be leaving Bangor so early but I’m grateful that I’m home and with family.
I’ve found the whole situation to be so surreal, I’ve been in this bubble at University and now it’s burst. The world is feeling very big and a lot more scary than normal. I was getting updates from the University, but I just didn’t realise how bad things were getting, I don’t look at the news and I’ve cut down on my time on social media, so I’ve very much been in the dark with things.
The original plan was to come to my Dad’s and then get a job over the summer but with lockdown and general social distancing there isn’t exactly any jobs going at the moment. Other than my assignment work for Uni I have very little to be doing for the foreseeable future.
I’m going to make my time indoors as meaningful as possible, so I sat down with my planner and decided what I wanted out of my summer. I need some sort of routine. Keeping a structure is an integral part of keeping my anxiety and depression at bay and with all the anxiety’s this virus has created, a structure is more important than ever.
Continue reading “It’s ok to let yourself rest during lockdown”
Getting a decent night sleep is a bit of a challenge for me, especially since I’ve been at university. As a kid I could only sleep if I had pressure on my head, what often resulted in me curling into a ball in the middle of my bed half suffocating myself with the covers pilled on top of me. It wasn’t until I was 15 that I got out of this habit after a particularly hot summer resulted in me not being able to cover my whole body and head with a winter duvet. But five years later I still like having weight on me as I sleep, no matter how how it is.
When the time came for me to start shopping for university I made sure a thick duvet was on my shopping list, but I struggled to find one with the weight that my old one had. This issues made me think back to the previous year when I had been researching autism and I’d came across these things called weighted blankets. At the time I loved the sound of them, but the price tag put me off and I was doing just fine with my current duvet and blanket combo, so I never got one. But after researching it a bit more in the past few months as my moving day drew closer, I decided that this was a product that I was interested in and thought would benefit me.
In my final few months at work I put money aside to save up for my weighted blanket and a month before I moved, I ordered one. Continue reading “Getting a good night sleep- weighted blanket review”
Today I’m excited to bring to you the third installment of my Challenging Perfect mini series that’s been developing over the past few years.
I opened my laptop this afternoon with no idea what to write. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling tired when it comes to my blog. As I’ve made more blogging connections on social media I’ve started to compare myself more to them. I see these incredible posts they write, how inspiring and helpful they are and can’t help but feel mine are a bit rubbish (got to love crippling low self confidence). After staring at a blank page for too long I closed my laptop in a bit of a huff and went to go take my minds off things.
My go to lately has been my sketchbook. I’m currently on my second Sketchbook what is an A4 landscape Art Gecko sketchbook. I did art at GCSE level and whilst I enjoyed it, I wasn’t particularly good in the sense that I was never able to develop my own style so everything I produced was a bit bland and forced. However, I’ve always wanted to draw and set myself the challenge to be able to draw before I got to university. I had an empty sketchbook from my school days and less than 3 month later I had filled it cover to cover.
So this afternoon I picked up my sketchbook, threw on some music and just played around for a bit. I ended up with some practice of creating patterns with my markers, a alrightish drawing of a girl and a cat with a bow tie.
Once done I sat back and just enjoyed flicking through the pages of my work, I even pulled out my first sketchbook and allowed myself to be proud with how far I’ve come with my drawings. Seeing as I’m a creature who struggles to stay on a solid train of thought for more than a few minuets, my mind quickly wondered to the past few months I’ve spent making as I put it ‘bad art’.
I concluded that I’d been feeling a lot more relaxed in myself and was coping a lot better when I made mistakes say at work. Sure I feel bad when I don’t do things perfectly, but I found I was no longer beating myself up for getting things wrong, instead I was taking responsibility for them and using it as a lesson to better myself and not make the mistake again. It took a bit of brain power to chase down why I was feeling this way, I’m no longer seeing a councilor and I’m off all medication, so why the change?
Turns out my sketchbook has a lot to answer for.
Continue reading “Make bad art – how drawing is helping me overcome perfectionism”
This post is quite a special one for me to be talking to you about. At the point of reading this I’ll be on holiday in Florida. I’ve never been abroad before, let alone on an airplane so I’m a tad apprehensive about going but I’m sure I handled it fine.
This holiday has been in the planning for over a year, I’m going with my Dad and step mum and I’m so excited. We’re doing the theme parks and hopefully the space center as well. I’ve been saving up for it constantly and fully intend to go nuts and make the most of the American sized portions of food. My bucket list of foods to try when I’m over are mac and cheese, a hot dog and a doughnut at breakfast.
I think that sentence just sums up how much things have changed in the past 12 months. Could any of you picture me saying that I wanted a doughnut for breakfast this time last year? No one would have thought it’d be possible and it’s amazing how much much has changed.
In total seriousness, I can’t wrap my head around what’s changed in such a short amount of time. I remember talking to my councilor over a year and a half ago, telling her that I didn’t want to be anorexic when I’m on holiday in Florida. I wanted to be recovered by then, but deep down I knew it wasn’t going to be possible.
God obviously had other plans for me as here I am 8 month free of anorexia, excited to try American food and make the most of the famously big portion sizes.
I want to try and encompass this feeling towards the fact that I’m going on holiday free of the illness and share with you some of my favorite things that have only been possible since anorexia left my life for good. There truly isn’t enough posts or information telling you how much good will come from recovery, so today I want to share with you what my favorite things are since recovering.
Continue reading “My favorite things that were only possible with recovery”